Dear Motivation, Please Come Back!

Wow, Its been a while since I have written. I guess I could say the same for keeping up with my health and my weight loss. So, here's to starting over.
Its kind of strange..from my heaviest weight, I have lost over 70 pounds. Since March of this year, I have lost just over 60 pounds. When I look in the mirror, I don't see a difference. I still see fat, and I still see rolls, and I still see myself hidden behind all of that. No, I am not looking for a pitty party, I am not being hard on myself or looking for you all to tell me that I'm beautiful - I already know this. :)

So, my goal for the next few months is to get back on track with my original diet. No more bread, pasta, potatoes, chips, crackers - etc. I'm back on track. I want to lose 40 more pounds by the end of the year. I think its totally do-able, its just going to take concentration and hard work.

I just got done with my first P90X workout. I haven't done this work out in quite some time. I remember trying to do it over a year ago, and WOW what a difference 70 pounds really makes when working out.
It was still definitely hard, and I'm rather exhausted now, but It was easier to get through it - although I was praying for the dvd player to spontaneously combust. I GOT THROUGH IT, and I'm crazy sore, but I'm excited to see how well this does for me doing it 6 days a week along with the diet.

I'll spare you the grueling details of the amount of pushups I did and how I almost knocked the ceiling fan down when I was doing jumping jacks (okay, I'm totally kidding, but it would be really funny - don't you think?!)

Anyway - Short and sweet tonight.

Feel free to send me your motivation, I'll definitely need it over these next few months in order to reach my goal.

I should sleep like a baby tonight after that workout!

Thanks for reading! Have a fabulous week!

Summer is Here, Summer is already over?

Picture Taken July 30, 2010

It seems that my summer has come and gone all in the blink of an eye!
I am both happy and sad about this...
Sad - Well, its summer and its already over! I did manage to go on 2 small vacations, though.
Happy - Its time to get my ass back on a schedule. I haven't really been following my 'diet' and I feel like crap. I haven't been drinking much water and I have been eating at restaurants and eating whatever I felt like. Good news, however, is that I did not gain any weight during this process, but I did manage to maintain my weight.  When my life is on a schedule, I do things so much better. So, tomorrow starts my schedule.
I went grocery shopping and my fridge is filled with Fresh Fruit, Veggies, Water, and Propel Water.
I am starting my healthy way of eating again and I couldn't be more excited about it.

What's even more exciting is that my work schedule was built the way I asked and I actually have time in the mornings to go to the gym and work out every morning!! How exciting! 5 days a week I will be working out!

My blog is short for today. Good thoughts are appreciated!

My legs and ass hurt so bad it actually hurts to sit down.

Oh boy! So I have already expressed my extreme hatred for working out, however, I fully understand that  it is vitally important in my whole weight loss plan. So, my sister goes to YMCA, and I have been tagging onto her membership for about 2 weeks. Its a far drive, but we hired a trainer that works us out in a group of 3.

1st of all, I am way more motivated to work out and lift weights when I have a trainer, however, this whole group thing is kind of interesting. My sister and I are obviously in the group, but then there is the 3rd person - a 52 year old mother who has a bad knee and wants to chit chat the entire time we are doing stuff. Um, I guess that would be cool, if we signed up for a social club!! She told my sister that she would get along with her daughter. Um, have you met my sister?? That is highly unlikely. hahah.

Okay, so workouts with Ward are going pretty well, despite the gabby granny-like tag along. We have only done two so far, and I have developed an extreme hatred for one of the machines. Its the "rowing" one. Where you buckle your feet in, sit low to the ground, grab the handles - slide back and pull the handles and it "rows" your forward. Ugh - what an obnoxious machine. Ward makes us do it for 5 minutes straight. The first time we did it, I hated it. The second time, I hated it even more.

So, I am a recent member at LA Fitness close to my house. I've only been a memeber for a week and I've already been 3 times (plus the 2 times at the Y for the workouts with Ward) So, its been a week of exercising! When you join a gym, they try to get you to sign up for personal training with them...so, I said "what the hell" - I'll meet with you and see what you have to offer.

I went Saturday morning at 8am to meet with Alex, a non-trainer sales guy. He did, however walk me through a "workout" He told me that I shouldn't do cardio before lifting weights because it takes away all of your energy. I have always been told before that cardio before is really good as it gets your heart rate up... hmmm.

Anyway - he took me though a work out - a leg workout, and holy crap did it burn. I did lunges up and down the gym floor 3 times. Then he made me do squats holding weights above my head. THEN, he made me step up sideways onto a stepping board, jump to my other foot, step down on the other side and do a friggin squat.

So, today, Sunday - when I got out of bed, I damn near fell into the wall. My legs hurt so bad, its ridiculous. Sitting down and standing up is quite the challenge. I almost just want to stay standing all day, just so I don't have to worry about how I'm going to manage to sit or stand up. Even my butt hurts... I had no idea that my butt muscles could hurt.

Needless to say, it was a good workout, however, their prices just simply do not fit my lifestyle. And, I hate sales people trying to sell me on their product. Alex's GM came over and tried to upsell his trainers. Too bad the GM had a big ass beer belly. Seriously dude? You are the head of all of the trainers and you have a beer belly? Can you say oxymoron?! He tried to get me to sign up right then and there on 1 workout a week for $150 a month. Seriously? No dude. Then he tried 2 workouts a month. Really? what is the point of having a trainer for 2 times in 1 month - to which he uttered much bullshit.

This week I'm going to do some classes, probably a latin dance class and a yoga class. I really want to attempt a cycling class, but in time. I'm excited for this exercise adventure that is ahead of me...

3 months = amazing!

I lost 15 pounds this past month, and I can hardly believe it. I have lost a total of 48 pounds in just 3 months! Its amazing to me that this is working. I love it, and honestly I wouldn't change anything - well except for the flavor of the vanilla protein shakes. Ew!

Its been a crazy month, with the end of the school year, and the loss of my precious niece. So when things go crazy, my eating habits usually do too. I had a few shitty eating days during this time, but given the circumstances, shit happens. :)

Regardless, the most important thing is that I never over-indulged in one single food. I have found that if I have a craving for something that I eat just a tiny amount to get my craving taken care of, and go on with my day. I have had 1 soda in the past month and the only reason is because my tummy hurt so band and having a Sprite helped to calm down my stomach ache. 

So my goal for this next month is to lose 22 pounds. I truly believe that its do-able, most because I will be going to the gym to work out and sweat 5-6 days a week during the summer! Today was the first day at the gym. I did the elliptical machine - a mile took me 12 minutes. I accidentally kept pressing the + button and I didn't realize until the last part of the mile that I had made it sooo much harder to walk! hah! My sister is my "trainer" for the summer. She had me walking on my friggin tip toes! Whew, that burned!

We focused today on legs and butt, and tomorrow we are going to focus on Chest, Back and Arms and we are going to play racquetball!   I am super excited to see if my goal of 22 pounds this next month is going to happen with adding this much exercise. 

I got rid of a ton of clothing this weekend. Its amazing how much losing almost 50 pounds can really change the way clothes fit.  Its so exciting! I love it!

While I wish that I would have found this "program" years ago, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. This is happening to me right now for a reason. It's my main focus and I am so excited to see the changes taking place!!  Thank you all so much for your motivation and support!

Enjoy your day and don't forget to Smile!

Vacations make you Cheat on them there Diets...

So, I dont know if you can call my trip to california with 30 of my high school band kids a "vacation" - but it was definitely a trip and I definitely did not follow my diet.
its really tough to travel and keep things going to the same way.  I ate pasta, bread, peanut butter and jelly, granola bars, and I drank a few sodas. Ultimately, I felt pretty shitty. I lacked energy, got pretty bloated, and was pretty exhausted the whole time.

So, normally, once I cheat I usually have a really hard time going back to my diet. However, its Monday and I am right back to my diet. Feeling the way I did on my trip really inspired me to get back to the way I have been eating for the past 8 weeks. One day back on it - and I am feeling so much better today!

Not that big of a post tonight, but I will write more in about a week or so. My goal over the next week is to drink 2 gallons of water each day!

33 pounds down, 38 more to go until I reach goal #1

I went to my 2nd monthly check up at the doctor today. The official number of pounds lost is 33. I lost 12 pounds in the last month, and while that may sound really great, I am somewhat disappointed.
I talked to Dylan (my doc) about my struggles this month, and regardless he said I should be extremely proud of losing 33 pounds in just 8 weeks.

The past couple of weeks were a little tough, with the robbery, getting a pretty horrible cough and just basically letting life get ahead of me. Please, don't get me wrong, I am thrilled with 33 pounds and I am really starting to see some major changes. My pants are starting to fall off, and I'm able to fit into some shirts and pants that I refused to get rid of over the past few years.

I have gone down a pant size, a shirt size, and a bra size.

I had two students tell me today: "Ms. J - you are shrinking! We love it!"
Dylan told me he can really notice a difference in my face.
Marian called me skinny last week.
Colleagues have told me that I look so stylin' - ('cause my cute clothes fit me now!)


I have only a couple of weeks left of this year. I have to get through a california trip with my band kids, our final band concert, the band awards banquet, and graduation. Then, hopefully, some things will be a little easier to get working out in. I plan to get up in the mornings and do some treadmill action and then go swimming. I am really looking forward to the summer!

Anyway..i'm not much in the writing mood, so there will be more to come soon.

First Come The Robbers, Then Come The Cops.

So, as many of you may have read, my new house was robbed today - sometime between 6:30am and 11:30am. I went home for lunch today just as I do most days. Tried to open the front door, but the 'extra' lock on the door was locked from the INSIDE! At first I got freaked out - then I looked in the window and everything looked normal. So then I thought, "well shit, did that extra lock slide down somehow on its own??"

I called mom and told her I was locked out of my house - perplexed as much as I was, she said she would come over and unlock the side gate. As I was waiting, I looked inside the window again and noticed that one of the end table drawers was open. I knew for a fact that I didn't leave that open before I left, so I knew at that moment that someone had broken into my new home.
Once my mom got to my house, we tried to unlock the side gates by standing on chairs -but we just simply weren't tall enough and neither of us has the ability to jump fences. We noticed that the alley gate was perched open and the lock was missing. Also the pool fence was open and a towel was laid across it Damn it!
My mom drove around the alley and went through the back gate - where she found out that my house had in fact been broken into. They took a hand shovel and smashed a hole into the sliding glass door. The cops took about 10-15 minutes to get there. They made us wait outside while they made sure the house was clear. They dusted for prints but couldn't find anything conclusive. My guess is its because they used a towel to cover their hands - and a branch from a tree outside to sift through drawers, which they so kindly left for me in my bedroom. The cops didn't really say much, in fact the only thing they had to say was that I was really lucky.

They went through the kitchen cupboards, through my office desk drawers, and ransacked my bedroom. As far as I could tell, nothing in the baby's room was touched. So, what did they take? They found the safe in my bedroom closet - which by the way is broken and EMPTY! and they took a jar full of change. Oh, and the best part - they left a pair of my underwear hanging from the ceiling fan in my bedroom. What the hell?! really? (that got us to laugh quite a bit actually) But really, that's it - as far as 'things' go.

I can tell you this - I am angry, really damn angry. They took my sense of security in my new home.
The house I just moved out of was robbed after I had lived there for about 6 months where they took way more stuff with that robbery including computers, money, and jewelry. It is simply one of the worst feelings... Knowing that someone was so desperate and all they can do with their time is rob houses and go through your belongings. That is just pathetic. Having the feeling of having to check all the doors and windows every time you come home is rather obnoxious...

I am so thankful that my daughter and I were not home when this happened. I am thankful that the only thing that was broken was the sliding glass door (which that and all of the windows are scheduled to be replaced tomorrow) I am thankful that they didn't ruin my furniture, or anything for that matter. But I still reserve the right to be angry and to be scared. I do fear that they will come back. I fear that they will come back when I am home - or worse when I am home with my daughter.

I don't want to live in fear, which at this point, I am unsure of how to accomplish this. I appreciate everyone's concern, but I can assure you that a pitty party is not what I need. Perhaps someone to come over and spend the night and hang out with me all the time would be great. Everything will take time - and I know that I will be a stronger and better person because of this.

Actually, I just ordered a kick ass wireless alarm system which will be installed ASAP. Every window and door will be alarmed along with motion detectors in 3 places.


So, to who ever robbed my house: Fuck You Asshole(s)


On a side note, I have yet to do my yoga. I wanted to do that tonight, but quite frankly, its not going to happen tonight. Damn it!

stand up, lay down, stand up, lay down, stand up, lay down....OMG!

I was too tired to write last night, so since I am taking the night off of exercising, I will spend a little time writing.
I think I am developing a Love-Hate relationship with exercise. Granted, I have only done it 3 times in the past year, but those 3 times have been this week. I genuinely hate working out, as I have previously mentioned, but I absolutely love when its over! I love how I feel when I am done exercising, and I love how much better I sleep when I exercise.

My body hurts - my legs are especially sore. I felt like all I did last night with my work out was stand up and lay down a thousand times! From one legged pushups. Every other exercise I was on the ground. From being in plank positing and trying to do the "run" (keeping your hands on the floor, you switch your legs back and forth - one foot moves towards your head while the other goes backwards- like you are running, but you go nowhere) What the hell! I think I did two - and then just watched the people on the dvd do it. I think I actually burned calories by watching them! I did what felt like was hundreds of lunges - even though it was probably only 20 on each side.
Between the lunges, I had to get on the floor and do "banana and superman" - roll from your back to your front and keep your legs lifted up the entire time and your head/chest/shoulders lifted as well.

At one point, although I don't remember what it was for, I told to tv to "shut the hell up!" and started laughing pretty hard. I wish I could remember, because I'm sure it would be funny for everyone to read. Regardless - I just stood there and laughed at the tv, because i thought that that particular exercise was way to ambitious for me to handle.

HAHA! I remember, I Remember! - its called the Dreya Roll. You start standing up - then sit on your but, roll backwards on to your shoulders and and stay there for a few seconds while your legs are perfectly straight in the air, THEN roll your self back up and jump off the ground from a sitting position. Yeah, they (the people on the dvd) all did 20 or 30 of those. hahah. I couldn't even do 1. usually - it take me a lot more to get my ass off the group - let alone jump from a sitting position. Amazing. Its funny now, but soon enough I will be able to do this...

On a different note, my milk expired 3 days ago - and I didn't realize this until yesterday. I was never much of a milk drinker, but I have always been a big "go by the date" person. I would always check the milk cartons at my grandparents house in Camp Verde - and get freaked out when it was 2 or 3 weeks old - but since they froze their milk and then thawed it out a few weeks later - they always said it was okay. "um...but the date is really old" So, I drank the milk yesterday - but i just couldn't bring myself to drink it today - so I missed out on my protein shakes today. I actually didn't do very well with my 5 meals.
I only had applesauce for breakfast, then i had asparagus and a hard boiled egg for lunch. Then I went to Johnny Rockets for dinner with the fam. I ordered a chicken sandwich. Let me tell you something - without the bread, that sandwich is pathetic! a small piece of chicken, 2 shreds of lettuce and a tomato. Needless to say, I make much better chicken than the $7.99 chicken that johnny rockets makes!

I did manage to get in a lot of 'physical' work around the house. Dishes are done, Lawn is weed-eded, mowed and watered, the back yard is finally empty of boxes, stuff has been moved into storage...and my laundry is done.

Tomorrow -after the Easter festivities of an egg hunt and hangin with the family, I'll be working out - I think its the YOGA workout - which from what I remember from the summer is one of the hardest dvd's of the bunch. Wish me luck!!

Holy P90X, oh how you make my legs hurt and my body sweat!

Being new to this whole working out thing, I dont think that I can do it every day. Actually, that's such a lie! The real truth is that i don't want to over-do the exercising, and then just quit and regain the weight that I have lost. So, last night, I didn't do any exercising. Instead I spent the evening catching up with my best friend. It was highly necessary and incredibly refreshing!

So, tonight I stared at the treadmill for about 10 minutes. Seriously, 10 minutes, how ridiculous is that?! I could have been walking on the treadmill during that time. But I did realize why I dont care much for the treadmill: It take you nowhere! You do all of this walking and you end up staying in the same damn spot! At least if I go hiking, I can turn around and see where I have come from and see how far I have to go back and it matters none to me about the amount of time. Anyway, since I could just pick up and go hiking at 7:30PM, I came to a decision that I should start my P90X video's and try that again.

Oh boy! I changed into sweats and a sweatshirt (my doc said that if I want to sweat more to wear that since I have a large amount of water weight) I found my DVD's and tonight I started with "Cardio"

I understand that P90X isn't for the uber beginning people, and while I am new to really working out again, its not my first time working out and I am relatively strong and have a sufficient amount of muscle. So, I pressed play and was ready to workout!
There were only a few times that I said to the Television set, "Are you Freakin kidding me?!"

The workout started with some Yoga. hahah! Upward Dog, Plank, Warrior, Reverse Warrior and more. I did pretty decent with those the first couple times, but each time I had to keep going back to upward dog and Plank, it really tuckered me out. I take everything at my own pace, and dont try to keep up with the people on TV. After all the Yoga stuff, I went into kick boxing stuff. That wasn't too bad, although my legs are totally feeling it now. Between that and the jumping, squatting, and pretending like I am jumping over gigantic tires, my legs are going to be so sore tomorrow!
The end of the workout, i had to do Banana and Superman - rolling back and forth on my stomach keeping my arms and legs in the air.

HOLY CRAP!!

I'm motivated to do better with this. I'm motivated for the next time I do this specific workout that I will be able to do it better.
I wont do this one for at least a week - and hopefully I will have lost more weight and therefor making it easier to roll on the ground and get up and down, up and down, and do all of this yoga stuff.

Thats it for tonight. I weigh in on my own scale on Monday. I am looking forward to seeing my progress.
Good night all!

My Weight Loss Story...Part 1.

As I stated in my facebook note, I was going to write my first blog about this after I did my first evening of cardio. So here I am, sitting in my uber comfy rocking chair, and cooling off after my first round of cardio.

I hate working out. I literally have to convince myself to put on my shoes and socks. Then when I get to the treadmill, I have to convince myself to press the start button. The entire time that I am on the treadmill, I am debating with myself as to how long is an acceptable amount of time to be exercising. My conversation with myself went as follows:

"Okay, just get to 5 minutes, just get to 5 minutes - QUIT looking at the clock!"

So, once I get to 10 minutes and over 1/2 mile, I have fully convinced myself to go for the full mile and if its under 20 minutes, to just get to 20 minutes, and the damn treadmill just STOPS! "What the heck!? Really, treadmill, you are going to quit on me, really?!"

So, tonight, my first adventure with cardio, I lasted for 10 minutes, but not by choice.

There are only 2 people who know my actual weight. Me and my doctor. I plan for it to remain that way, as honestly, I am embarrassed about my weight. When I say embarrassed, I really just mean the actual number. I am who I am, and for that I am not embarrassed.

Anyway, my 21 pound weight loss story. As I mentioned on Facebook, I have lost 21 pounds in 1 month!

My doctor, Dr. James Nichols suggested that I give his medical weight loss clinic a try. I figured that I wasn't going to lose weight by osmosis and since everything else I have tried I have failed at, that maybe something supervised by my doctor would be the best thing for me.

I watched their promotional DVD (probably the most boring 30 minutes of my life) and I showed up two weeks later, ready to get something started.

Dylan, the weight loss specialist met with me and took my weight, and my body composition. He hooked me up to this machine that figures out all sorts of details: my basal metabolic rate, my body fat percentage, and the amount of water weight that I have.

With that information, he came up with a meal plan for me:

High Protein, low calorie, low fat diet in addition to an appetite suppressant.

Here is what I eat/drink on a daily basis.

I eat 5 'meals' a day all approximately 3 hours apart from each other.

Meal #1 - I drink a protein shake and have a serving of fruit when I get up in the morning.

Meal #2 - a fruit or a veggie

Meal #3 - a protein shake, hard boiled egg, and a fruit or a veggie

Meal #4 - a fruit or a veggie

Meal #5 - salad with 2 tablespoons of ginger dressing, baked chicken, veggie and/or a fruit

I can change up my 5th meal - and use a different kind of meat if I want, but I usually just eat chicken.

In addition to these meals, I try to drink between 1 and 2 gallons of water a day. Dylan told me that the more water I drink, the more weight I'm going to lose, so of course I try to drink as much as possible. With that said, I have followed this plan to a tee, with the exception of the weekend that I moved. The biggest change for me with all of this is that I don't drink soda anymore and I'm not eating breads, chips, crackers, etc.

I am hungry all the time, but I don't have cravings. Dylan says that being hungry means that my metabolism is working and that usually means that I am losing weight. I am hungry right now, but all I really want is an apple and some water. I can have dinner with my family and not eat the mashed potatoes, peel the fried skin off the chicken, and be totally satisfied.

I am so excited about this journey, and I am strangely excited to share it with my friends and even possibly with complete strangers. Welcome to my journey, to my life, and to my trials and tribulations. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.